My Month... for those of you with nothing better to do than to read this... my apologies....

My last month actually started over a year ago, when I told my wife I couldn't handle another winter at my current job (WG) (due to my declining health, the stress of the busy winters there is too much to bear for me).
Therefore, we discussed and prayed about me going back to my older job (V) I had before the stupid strike. I called my old district friend and asked if they needed me back because I missed their computer system, and I missed my old work buddies there. He was excited to get me back, but sadly informed me that the current (end of 2006) contract said I would have to wait 12 months before my insurance kicked in. Sheesh I told him I can't do that as my health is aweful and we'd go broke on Cobra. He said as soon as something changes, he'd let me know.

I interpreted the unopened door as God's "no" for now. Thank God for that, because just a couple months later, despite my bad health at the time, I was able to lead a friend from WG to the Lord. I may not have had that opportunity with him had I got the other job.

Now, fast forward to August 2007. I have given up on the other job (V) as a "closed door", and am just being faithful to the job God has me at - then I get contacted by V's district with an offer that humbles me ! I am stoked and my wife and I see this as from the Lord. Better pay, no lapse in insurance, longer lunches, better hours, easier system. I accept, and put in my notice at WG.

Here's the kicker of all this:
I'm told they're remodeling the place after I accepted the job. No prob, I can deal with that for a couple months. On my first day, I'm told 2 of my fellow workers I missed had quit (1 after 22 years there, and the other after 15 years there)... OK at this point I'm having to muster up some faith cuz there's no turning back and I'm starting to doubt God's leading here. Then I find out we have to work in a cage less than a quarter of the size we were working in before cuz of the construction.... without air conditioning.

So, we have less professional help (thank God one of my friends is still there or I'd be a basket case), the pharmacist's change everyday cuz they're all floaters and many of them could care less about anything but watching the clock, the customers are constantly upset cuz of the inconveniences, we have to work in 80 degrees every day with pathetic little fans blowing, and we can't find anything cuz a huge area was crammed into a tiny temporary box.

So, I'm more stressed that I was at WG! I dread each day, my health has plummeted and I'm fighting depression every morning.

I know some of you may be like, hey, others have it worse, get over it, but this is my situation and it feels really good to get it out and share it with someone... anyone who'll care.

They told us we'll be in our new pharmacy in 2 weeks... the place hasnt changed in 4 weeks... it's going kinda slow. I joked the other day and said we'll probably be decorating this little cage with Christmas ornaments, and they said "don't say that!!!"

Oh, and cuz of the small quarters we're in, I tripped and fell to the ground the other day over a tote. Not good when you just had major back surgery.

Anyways, thank you so much for listening, it means a lot to me to be able to vent, or dump all this out here amongst people I love. I just needed someone to dump on, otherwise I keep feeling like I'm not going to "finish well" here.

Sorry to hear about your horrible working conditions.
I can certainly understand the stress of having to work in such terrible circumstances.

I would try not to be too upset over your old friends leaving. It happens, quite a bit in this country. I have been at my current job for about 8-1/2 years (longest job I've ever had). There are less than 20 people working here at any given time, and I have seen at least 10 or 11 people leave, and another 12 or so come into the firm. It just seems to be the way.

I'll be praying that your working conditions improve. It would be a shame if you had to go on strike.

First it's always good to vent things here.
It really helps to tell things you struggle with.
Know Jim that God will care for you.

Jim it sounds odd, but what I try to do when I felt deep down is sing.
Sing songs that praise God and don't give it up.
The praise will drive the depression away.
First it's difficult but later you see it helps.
I hope it helps you too.

Thanks guys, I appreciate your prayers.

What bummed me out was that the whole reason the district mngr called me to work was cuz my old buddies (i was looking forward to working with) had quit and I was to be replacing them.... he didn't tell me that ! Had I known ahead of time that they had quit and that we would have floaters* to be our help, I would have reconsidered. I've been chewed out 3 times by customers just today because their prescription was lost or not ready because of negligence on our part. I've dealt with this in the past, but am too sick these days to face off an angry customer anymore.

This is the whole reason I was returning to this job because just a month ago they had plenty of help, they were not very busy, and my health would have fared better. But apparently this will not be the case. I'm trying to trust God that if this was just my decision, that He will work it out. But if this was His decision for me, I just can't understand why things are working out this way.

I know, I sound like a whiner... but I'm really not, I've got a mess of health problems and here in my 18th year of pharmacy, things have just gotten 10 times worse... I'd love a career change altogether but am not sure even where to start a 2nd career.

Again, thanks for listening... I appreciate you guys letting me vent.

(*most floaters just fill a spot and don't really want to work hard, so they don't learn much, and don't care if they leave the place a mess.)

I started noticing a number of years ago that I kept running into walls much like you. No matter how much it seemed a door was opened for me, there were ALWAYS
people readily slamming it on me. At times the trials I have witnessed seemed insurmountable.

I kept getting hit with new and unwanted tasks, responsibilities and challenges. This happened at job after job. I finally realized that each time this happened, I was learning and each new job/venture put the newfound knowledge into use. Things that I would have never dreamed I needed to know, were now the things that I needed to go each step.

I tell you this because MAYBE what God has in mind is for you to suffer a bit. To learn how to better deal with stress and adversity so that His path for you can be attained.

Just my humble opinion, but maybe my words will help.

Thanks Darren. It's probably true and I've always been a stubborn son, not wanting the suffering part. It all goes back to what I want, and that's to have some rest after almost 20 years of the same job and almost 10 years of severe health problems (I try to be faithful and not complain, most people with my conditions are on disability, and the dr even said I could easily qualify, but I believe as long as I can work, I'm gonna work dangit !)
Course what I want is probably not what God wants. So I need to hang in there and not go numb from it all. I'm just tired.

Wow, I feel sorry for you apolo. It's good to get your feelings out though, so sharing those with us will help a little. Sabidoo is also right, sometimes it does seem like all the doors are shutting, or the wrong doors are opening, but through it all God can be molding us into what he wants us to be. Hopefully when the new Pharmacy will be ready soon, and then you can see how it goes - but waiting in a stuffy hot tiny office must be hard. I'll pray for you.

Fundy

Thanks again for all your prayers. With every challenge I've faced, the Lord has always been faithful to bring me through and grow me each time. I'm just frustrated right now and needed some buddies to lean on.
I think where I'm really missing the mark in life is that I'm expecting a "rest period" in my life... like I'm finally gonna attain a point where I won't have to be stressed outta my head every day. Part of my makeup (all through my blood relatives) is anxiety, stress, depression, etc. And for me it's a battle every day whether I have stress or not, and for me to be in a situation like this at work is 10 times more challenging than a "normal" person. Add on that pancreatitis pain that causes nausea, back pain from surgery and bad discs and well.... when you think about it, only God could be getting me through each day, cuz I know no one in their own strength could be doing this. So glory to God for the one set of footprints in the sand right now.