25 ways to tell if you're a Redneck




1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.

2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

5. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people."

6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey y'all watch this."

8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

10. Your junior prom had a daycare.

11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are, "Gentlemen start your engines."

12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.

15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.

16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.

17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.

18. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

20. Somebody hollers "Hoe Down" and your girlfriend hits the floor.

21. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

22. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

23. Your working T.V. sits on top of your non-working T.V.

24. Your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home.

25. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.




OK, let's score ourselves, and be HONEST!

1-5 matches: You're pretty normal.


6-10 matches: High School was an afterthought.


11-15 matches: Who did you get to read this for you?


16-20 matches: Your first child calls you uncle/aunt.

21-25 matches: Your address is likely in Canada.

Actually, none of those matched. Of course, our senior prom could have used the day care. Some larger schools are now providing that for proms.....for a fee, of course.

Believe it or not but I'm pretty normal.

I used to think I was pretty redneck. Looks like I have my work cut out for me.

I rated 1.

Them theres purdy clevur... Ahd say I rayt abowt uh 20 er so... cood be more but I cain't cownt hiyer than 20

I take this as a challenge. My goal is at least 15 by the end of the year!