odd title for the thread, I know...Here is where I am now..
A few years ago I prayed to God and asked him to show me the real him...not who people or books (other than Scripture) or preachers or even churches say he is...but the real him. And he has and still answers that prayer daily. Now I have asked God to show me the real me...what is deep inside me and who I really am and he is doing that now. I am learning alot...alot of truths and lies about both myself and God. That is where I am now.

I spent several years being an avid student of Scripture and witnessing in various ways, this made me feel good about myself and my walk with Christ. Then God showed me "the real me" (as you said). In a nutshell, I had a series of devastations. While still having a faith in God and going to church, my foul mouth began to return, it was during this time I began to see that it's not my righteousness that makes me good with Him. My righteousness is as filthy rags compared to the clean white clothes GIVEN to me by my Mediator. I now have no confidence in my flesh (rather, in the things that I do that makes me "feel" saved). I've learned that I am utterly depraved and a man of unclean lips with a crap attitude at times.
Today, my walk is good. Not great, but better than the attitude I had a year ago. So I'm headed in the right direction. I've received excellent encouragement right here from my brothers and sister through the last few years. I think it was Chris (alldat) who helped me understand that although I'm not where I want to be, I'm where God wants me to be at this point in my walk.
I praise Jesus humbly that He never forsakes me. God is so good.

I spent most of my life thinking God didn't exist. Then I spent several more years going to church with my Christian wife, thinking that I was a Christian simply because I went to church (never cracked open my bible). Almost four years ago I heard a sermon called "True and False Conversion" and it convicted me. I did not have the "fruit of a Christian" and was worried that I wasn't really following Christ. Since then I took my family out of our "seeker friendly, milk fed" church and started going to a church where the pastor teaches directly from the bible. I read my bible on a regular basis (with some patches of lapsing), and am working on being a husband and father who follows Christ with all my heart. I do my best to fully trust in Christ's promise of salvation, but I must confess that I doubt myself sometimes. I feel like I am moving forward (but I still stumble on occasion).

I've asked God to show me who I am in Him.

I don't see my walk as all that great right now. I just have a real "I don't care" attitude about a lot of things--even church to a certain extent. But, as the youth pastor, I have no one to talk to with this.

That's what we're here for man. You talk (or type) and we'll listen. Gets it out of your system, makes you feel better. Sometimes I just need to type it all out and get some feedback and prayer. The answers I'm given are usually what I already know in my head, but need to hear again. It's just knowing that people care enough to comment and say a prayer.

You guys have all been there for me and I want you to know I'm praying for you both right now. Seasons of apathy are a guaranteed part of this walk... no one is immune. It's in these times you hafta just go through the motions and keep on keepin on. Over time the apathy will leave and the excitement will return. Be encouraged by these words.

I'll be praying for you too.
I hope God will show you an other pastor/youth pastor to talk and pray with.

My walk is okay. Could be better (as is always the case) but I'm happy with how things are going.

One thing's for sure there are many peaks and troughs in our spiritual lives, as we go through lots of different emotions, temptations and problems. That's why it's always good to keep going to church or studying the Bible as a matter of routine, otherwise when the bad times come it all gets a bit disillusional - a place that I've been from time to time.

Fundy