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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Divorce   Tue Aug 06, 2013 1:47 am

Guess the time has come to share this with my CHM family.

Seems my daughter is finished with her husband. No need to flesh out all the details here, but I would like to ask for your prayers for my daughter (mainly that this whole thing would draw her closer to God) - same for my now EX-son-in-law... it'd be nice to hear someday down the road that he came to his senses, left his agnostic ways and would come to Christ.

So that's basically it. This was really only a shock on the first day she told us. Basically we've known she wouldn't put up with his "ways" for long - and yet she put up with him for 8 years and only married just shy of 2 years. It was a matter of "when", not "if", and now what's done is done.

Their wedding was completely neutral, no God at all, away from a church, no pastor and no mention of God whatsoever. Seems to me if God is not invited to your wedding, and not welcome in your marriage... then it's only a matter of time before it crashes, and they have no Godly vows to fall back on, no ROCK to grab hold of in the difficulties. And here she is, living with us. Seems a bit of her childhood faith is beginning to peek through though, so I'm hoping this whole thing is the catalyst to her returning to her First Love. We'll see.

Sigh...
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LRW



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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Tue Aug 06, 2013 9:18 am

Sorry to hear that G/F... it's always sad to see a marriage end, but you are right... marriage is an institution of God, and you have to include Him and live by His principles for it to work. I hope your daughter really does draw nearer to God, and I pray you and your family will find a way to heal through all of this.
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Tue Aug 06, 2013 9:37 am

Definately praying here.  Hope that childhood faith that is "peeking through" soon shows it's head and shouts "I'm here!"
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Tue Aug 06, 2013 11:34 am

Very sad news. Praying for you, Mrs Guilty, your daughter and your ex-son-in-law. Having had 1 mother and 3 different fathers, I can attest that divorce is a terrible thing.

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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Tue Aug 06, 2013 4:39 pm

It's always so sad a marriage ends in a divorce.
It will be my prayer for your daughter and ex son-in-law to draw closer to God after all that happened.
You, Mrs. Guilty are in my prayers too.
That God will use you both to start talking about God with your daughter and ex son-in-law.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Tue Aug 06, 2013 5:30 pm

I hate to hear about anyone divorcing!  But, I know it happens and God forgives us.

I hate it even more when churches keep divorce people down by not letting them serve even though their divorce was years in the past and the divorcee has really turned their lives to Christ.

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bassdude

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Tue Aug 06, 2013 7:30 pm

That one strikes close to home, alldat......my sister finally divorced her deadbeat, abusive, cheating husband 3 years ago, recently began dating a pastor friend that I went to college with......and promptly got called in to a deacons meeting where they were informed that there was absolutely no way the pastor was going to be allowed to date and possibly marry a divorced woman....unless he wanted to resign as pastor.

My friend is 40....good luck finding a woman in that age bracket who hasn't been divorced.
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Fundy

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Wed Aug 07, 2013 2:07 am

Sorry to hear the news.  I'll be praying here too.  Divorce is always a difficult thing to go through.

Fundy

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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Wed Aug 07, 2013 1:52 pm

bassdude wrote:


My friend is 40....good luck finding a woman in that age bracket who hasn't been divorced.

Yes, good luck to your friend indeed. The only single women I know of over 40 are divorced...or have no interest in marriage to any man.
Seems like many in the church seem to view divorce as an unforgivable sin. While I am very (very) opposed to divorce, I find it impossible to think God sees it as unforgivable.

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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Wed Aug 07, 2013 2:12 pm

Staybrite wrote:
bassdude wrote:


My friend is 40....good luck finding a woman in that age bracket who hasn't been divorced.

Yes, good luck to your friend indeed.  The only single women I know of over 40 are divorced...or have no interest in marriage to any man.
Seems like many in the church seem to view divorce as an unforgivable sin.  While I am very (very) opposed to divorce, I find it impossible to think God sees it as unforgivable.

 You mean the Bible never says that? Rolling Eyes
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:46 pm

ishmael81 wrote:
Staybrite wrote:
bassdude wrote:


My friend is 40....good luck finding a woman in that age bracket who hasn't been divorced.

Yes, good luck to your friend indeed.  The only single women I know of over 40 are divorced...or have no interest in marriage to any man.
Seems like many in the church seem to view divorce as an unforgivable sin.  While I am very (very) opposed to divorce, I find it impossible to think God sees it as unforgivable.

 You mean the Bible never says that? Rolling Eyes

Not sure what you are trying to say?

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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Wed Aug 07, 2013 3:59 pm

Staybrite wrote:
ishmael81 wrote:
Staybrite wrote:
bassdude wrote:


My friend is 40....good luck finding a woman in that age bracket who hasn't been divorced.

Yes, good luck to your friend indeed.  The only single women I know of over 40 are divorced...or have no interest in marriage to any man.
Seems like many in the church seem to view divorce as an unforgivable sin.  While I am very (very) opposed to divorce, I find it impossible to think God sees it as unforgivable.

 You mean the Bible never says that? Rolling Eyes

Not sure what you are trying to say?

 I was being sarcastic, though not towards you, about the way most churches handle divorced people.  I forgot I was in print and my tone didn't carry over. I meant no offense.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Wed Aug 07, 2013 4:49 pm

Gotcha Thumbs Up sarcasm is very difficult to convey on a mere message board.

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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:19 pm

Our church won't let men serve as deacons if they or their wife have EVER been divorced.  It doesn't matter if they were not Christians when they divorced or that they have been married to the new wife for sometimes decades while serving the Lord.  I understand how they come to that conclusion, but I feel their interpretation of the scriptures on that are wrong.

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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Thu Aug 08, 2013 9:32 am

I just learned yesterday from my daughter that my son-in-law was never agnostic, that he's always been an atheist, he just didn't want to say that to us.
We both had many discussions with Celia as well as wrote her a long letter when they were first getting serious that it wasn't right and we knew it wouldn't work out for them, that he wasn't her type at all. But she decided at 17 that she was "in love" - now at 25, she's agreed with everything we said. The only part that's still sketchy is her faith. I keep saying small things here and there to draw out of her where she stands with her "world view", but the message is still fuzzy from her. So I hope and pray she ultimately returns to the faith she was raised with.
On yet another note, she's still here at our house. I was under the impression that she'd stay a couple days here to gather her things and then maybe move to her friend's house (who invited her to stay with), but alas, she is still here. I love her and will do what needs to be done, but I wasn't planning on having a new room mate. Several people used to joke with me and say "don't do too much to that old room cuz you're gonna need it again when then kids come back to stay"  - and I always said NO WAY that's not gonna happen, we're empty nesters and that's how it's gonna stay.
I lived to eat those words.
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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Thu Aug 08, 2013 9:52 am

All we can do is praying that God's Holy Spirit is working again in the life of your daughter and even in your ex son-in-law.
He can be an atheist, but I hope God has other thoughts about this.
My mom always told me most people came to Jesus because others prayed for them.
Let's do this for your daughter and ex-son-in-law.
Let's go for it !!!


Last edited by rockerVu2 on Thu Aug 08, 2013 4:01 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Just_Sue

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Thu Aug 08, 2013 1:07 pm

The only thing worse than divorce is to be unevenly yoked in a godless marriage.


She'll get over this. So will you. Just trust that God has it under control and help guide her back to Him.
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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Thu Aug 08, 2013 2:54 pm

Thanks, that's what I need to hear right now. Seems life has been doing it's best to wreck me lately.

Started with the horrible news about Alldat & Sab's sister. Though I don't know them personally, I was very heartbroken for them and felt some pain for what they must be going through.

I then had a standard dentist visit that ended with the news that I have a tooth that my body is rejecting and that it needs to be pulled before it causes any damage to my jaw.

That night I learned about my daughter's separation/divorce plans. Knew it was a long time coming, but didn't see signs that it was gonna be NOW. So it was quite the shock initially.

We've been shorthanded at work with a lot of stress due to our main Medical Assistant being out cuz of her sick grandma, I got news last night that the grandmother died.
Then I get a call from some patient who was intent on being 100% difficult and impossible to please, after trying to please this patient the best I knew how, I finally gave up and hung up on her. Apparently all the crap in the last few days came to a head with this phone call, cuz after I hung up I punched a hole in the wall and probably broke a knuckle. Brilliant. I haven't punched a wall in years... which means things are getting to be a bit too much for me at this time. I was supposed to have a day off that was coming to me, but it's been delayed due our being short handed. On top of all this, my back hurts so much that those old cuss words are beginning to resurface.

God, I'm tired.
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:41 pm

Praying for you brother.  MY head pastor always says "If you aren't going through a trial, get ready cause one's headed your way."

But aside from that, I will pray for you to feel the peace that passes understanding and that your anger and anxiety is calmed by the Spirit.

Love ya bro.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:45 pm

Still praying for you the Mrs and your daughter.

Bummer to hear about her staying longer than expected. Guess you will just have to wait a little while longer to sit around in your boxer shorts watching WWE wrestling and eating green jello.

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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Thu Aug 08, 2013 4:37 pm

How'd you know ????? Shocked 

haha, thanks guys. Seems like women get to have all the emotions and I'm a saint in my wife's and daughter's eyes (so they tell me) for being there for them and always being an example of what a true Christian husband should be.... but right now I'm going thru the emotions (which are different than women) - I hold everything and appear as a rock through trials, give and give and give... then one day I feel like I'm gonna explode from not dealing with things myself. I really need that day off... away from everyone.
Possibly next Wednesday I'm told. In the mean time, I'm just hangin in there and trying to keep my eyes on God, on His grace and peace in all this.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Thu Aug 08, 2013 5:15 pm

Praying you can hold it together....maybe you need a day at the golf course....better yet go cd hunting by yourself (have lunch while you are at it).

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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Fri Aug 09, 2013 10:22 am

^ exactly bro ! I was scheduled, before ALL this happened, to take my paid day off (I have one more than Lisa has since she went back east to visit her family) -and I was gonna take it a couple days ago Wednesday. But cuz of all the crap, I'm now scheduled for this coming Wednesday. And that's exactly what I'm gonna do: Hit thrift stores ALL over San Bernardino and Riverside ! I'm gonna lighten their cd/LP collections of all their Christian albums.
I guess I've got that to look forward to. I just could have needed it this week.
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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Fri Aug 09, 2013 10:54 am

A day off is an excellent idea.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Divorce   Fri Aug 09, 2013 3:57 pm

Good news! No go find something from my "want's list". Laughing 

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