Silly Quotes

Preferably quotes from people you know, but they don't have to be.

"That was that one. This was this one." - Me just a minute ago.

"I can't wait until after everywhere." - One of my classmates when he was really tired.

Today during a meeting about one of our clients (I work with adults with developmental disabilities) who had a scratch -

"He had a scratch. He itched it. Wait... no... dang it."

When someone asks for an answer to a problem, I would give sage advice:

"He who go to bed with itchy butt,
Wake up with smelly finger"

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:

When someone asks for an answer to a problem, I would give sage advice:

"He who go to bed with itchy butt,
Wake up with smelly finger"

Man who fart in church,
Sit in pew alone.

Staybrite wrote:

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:

When someone asks for an answer to a problem, I would give sage advice:

"He who go to bed with itchy butt,
Wake up with smelly finger"

Man who fart in church,
Sit in pew alone.

I've always heard that (and said it  ) as "sit in own pew" as that could then be taken as "sit in own pe-ooh".

I remember in high school one afternoon (one of my few memories from back that far!  ), while waiting for the school bus to arrive to go home, a couple of girls were walking across the school grounds. Suddenly one of them said, "There she are!  HERE WE IS!  HERE WE IS!"

Whenever asked where something in the kitchen is my wife invariably responds "in the cupboard" or "in the drawer." Um ... dear ....

I remember one of my sisters and her two kids were at our house. The kids were very little at the time. I remember the older boy looking for his sister and walking around the house asking "Where are she?"

My son was 3 years old. I put a video tape in for him of VeggiTales (his first exposure to this cartoon that was fairly new at the time... they had like only 4 videos out at that time)... he watched about 5 minutes of it, walked over to his Mom and with a straight face said
"I cont want dis"

We've teased him ever since, cuz it was so darn cute.

"Would you cuddle with a cuttlefish? hahaha" - Me when I was really tired one night.

"It's like a baby blanket for my head." - Me talking about my hat that same night.

I've a few math pickup lines that I came up with…
"Hey, are you the reciprocal of the cosine of the angle C? Because you're sec(C)."
"Hey, are you a first degree function? Because you look affine."
"Hey, are you an angle under 90 degrees? Because you look acute."

My son had this dog, when he was about 4 or 5, that had a habit of climbing fences and running off. He disappeared one time and we couldn't find him.  After a week or so, we sat down and had the"Rascal went to heaven" talk. About a month later, the dog shows up at the front door. My son looked at me and said, "I guess he got bored in heaven."

LOL !! OMG ! That one about busted my gut !! That is too cute and too funny !!

Oh man that is hilarious.
We had a cat that did something similar. We went on vacation and the cat was being fed by our neighbor. He took off while we were away and we didn't see him for nearly a year. He came back home for a few months, and then just left again never to return.

I was eating at a picnic table with my friends today. One of the adults came over and said that the thing on our table was the table cloth and we could have spread it out. One of my friends said, "It's our center piece."