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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Prayers for my church   Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:04 am

My church has had some serious issues during the whole 5 years I have been the youth pastor.  I won't go into the details, but it is an older congregation that is stuck on past traditions.

Now, we have two families (one of which tries to dominate the congregation with how they want things done) have gotten into a feud over their son and daughter running off to get married.  The situation has degraded and some charges have been filed.  Now, the family that seems to have power in the church is asking for the other side to be kicked out over allegations that may not be true as no proof has been offered.  From sitting on the outside of this, it looks like BOTH families are to blame and that forgiveness is what is needed--not kicking good people out of a church over things that happened outside.

I see this going a couple of ways.  I do think that God could use this to bring some much needed healing to our church, revive it, and break the power stronghold that this one family has.  I am hoping and praying that this is what happens.

If the one family gets their way, however, I could see this church splitting or having a nasty migration of people away from it.  I could see the pastor and myself being locked into a cycle of just putting out fires within the congregation instead of moving forward and mobilizing our church to reach out to people beyond our walls, seeing people saved, discipled, and being a vibrant, relevant church. 

I will not stop praying until this situation is done.  If the latter happens, I will be needing a new job as I would resign.  A church cannot be healthy if people are being kicked out over a personal disagreement.  I will start looking for a new position if the one family (their family helped start the church 192 years ago) gets their way as it will show that this church is theirs--not God's.  We need what is RIGHT to happen and not just cater to the hate that has happened.

Sadly, this is affecting the whole church.  I have one mom who won't send her kids to youth group now because a member of the other family is in the youth, too.  How sad!  The teens get along fine and have had nothing to do with this!  The whole situation is a misunderstanding that is heading toward Hatfield & McCoy levels and I ain't kidding about that!  We need the power of the Holy Spirit here badly!  We, the pastors and deacons of this church, need to help heal these two families and shine the light of Jesus on this situation.  Please be praying!

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Xid

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Mon Jul 28, 2014 10:06 am

Divisions suck.  Will keep you and your church in prayer.
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Through The Dark Radio

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Mon Jul 28, 2014 11:53 am

Will definitely be praying.  I've seen this happen all too often.  The building may belond to a person but the church belongs to God.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Mon Jul 28, 2014 11:58 am

Terrible news, praying for your church and congregation, and you the pastors.

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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Mon Jul 28, 2014 3:26 pm

That's terrible when things as this are going on in a church.
Praying for you and the pastor for wisdom.
Hope God will show both families what they are doing and destroying.
It still is God's congregation, His Bride.
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Mon Jul 28, 2014 4:12 pm

Praying for you and your church.
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bassdude

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:22 pm

Praying for you and your church.....
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Tue Jul 29, 2014 7:34 am

It's been weird the whole 5 years I've been there.  We've had issue after issue and one of these families in this current situation is always at the helm.  They tried to get me fired right after I started.  It wasn't about me--it was about the fact that they hired a youth pastor and wrestled the youth group from one of the family members.

This same family was a huge proponent in our church going retro and installing stained glass windows even though the church really didn't want them.

The pastor was sick a couple of years ago and missed a lot of Sundays.  It couldn't be helped.  So, while he was down, this same family tried to have him ousted.  This wasn't the first time.  They tried to toss him out once before for supposedly "not visiting" enough even though our church is set up for the deacons to do the bulk of that and involve the pastor as needed.  This family got involved in a situation where I had to discipline one of my youth girls for some inappropriate behavior.  The girl's parents believed her instead of me and left the church.  So, the family that stirs up trouble invites themselves to get involved and again tries to have me ousted over it.  The deacons and pastor knew the girl and her family.  I must say that I made it through unscathed.  But, it is that same domineering family that stirs up deep poo-poo over and over and over again.

Our deacons are incredibly weak when it comes to dealing with this.  They want peace, so they do a lot of babying of people rather than deal with sin in the camp.  This family that stirs up all this stuff should have been removed from the church over some of the things they've done.  Sadly, one of our deacons might as well be this trouble causing family's personal servant.  He takes up their banner with every cause.  Instead of dealing with this family, who is involved in a BIG way in the family feud I told you about, he wants to take their side and oust the OTHER family involved.  If this happens, both the pastor and I are willing to resign.

What needs to happen is either both families are removed, OR both families should meet at a neutral place and work it out with mediation.  If they don't, it could rip the community this church is in apart as so many of these folks are kin or have known each other since birth.  We need the Lord to completely heal every aspect of this if the people are willing.  If it is not healed, then this church will continue to die which is where I feel it is starting to do.

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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Tue Jul 29, 2014 8:11 am

That was my thought too, remove both families from your church.
Then the congregation can be a healthy congregation again.
God will give your church the wisdom what to do.
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bassdude

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Wed Jul 30, 2014 10:17 pm

I was in a very similar situation 4 years ago and had to take my family and leave the church I'd been attending for 18 years.....our pastor was pretty young and someone came in and became his "mentor" and started running the church from behind the scenes. This guy basically turned the pastor into his puppet....monopolized all his time, kept him away from his family, eventually the pastors wife took the kids and left him, which instantly removed him from the ministry due to the rules of the denomination. Big mess.....
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Sat Aug 02, 2014 10:25 pm

The deacon's meeting Thursday night was rather tense.  A couple of the deacon's wanted to throw one family out of all their positions because the other family wouldn't come.  I brought out the point that if you remove this family, then they would stop coming as well.  You'd lose the same number of people on either side.  So, we decided that we would try to get both families to come to the altar and just forgive one another--especially after all assault charges were dropped.  If they will not do this, then there is the possibility that both families could be asked to step down.

I would be more supportive of removing both families if there is no sign of repentance.  If only one family was thrown out, I would not leave the church in anger.  I would stay on as youth pastor until I found a new position.  That's just what I felt I needed to do in a worse case scenario.

So, for now, nothing really changes.  We put it to the 2 families to come to an agreement with one another.  I just pray that God works some really cool miracles in all of this.

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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Sun Aug 03, 2014 6:47 am

I support you in this prayer.
God will show you His way.
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bassdude

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Mon Aug 04, 2014 8:37 pm

praying.......
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Tue Aug 05, 2014 6:11 am

Keep praying.  I know that one family is more than ready to meet with the other for healing.  I have heard no such report from the other family.  Sadly, the family that is so far unwilling to break down and seek forgiveness is the one that has a stranglehold on our congregation.  We NEED this power hold to be broken by the power of God so that our church can grow and move forward.  Without it, you will be stuck in this mode for many decades as it already has been.

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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Tue Aug 05, 2014 9:15 am

Still praying for you, your fellow pastors and your church.
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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Tue Aug 05, 2014 9:24 am

This situation needs a breakthrough so church can be like it was these problems.
I pray for the other family too so they can ask for forgiveness too.
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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Tue Aug 05, 2014 9:57 am

alldatndensum wrote:
Sadly, the family that is so far unwilling to break down and seek forgiveness is the one that has a stranglehold on our congregation.
Sadly, I feel they never will. Would venture they never have in the past since it is their church rather than God's. Of course, they could repent at any time and I pray this is the time the Spirit finally brings conviction upon them.

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Tue Aug 05, 2014 8:47 pm

Sad....when people would rather kill a church than humble themselves and ask forgiveness.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Wed Aug 06, 2014 6:25 am

Thank you all for the prayers.

At times, I want to walk away and just find another church.  For whatever reason, though, I don't feel like the Lord is asking me to do that.  I think He wants me to stay longer for whatever reason.

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MikeInFla

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Wed Oct 15, 2014 12:37 pm

Any updates?
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Mon Oct 20, 2014 6:08 am

Part of the two families has buried the hatchet and now tolerate one another.  It's a step in the right direction.  However, it will take time for this to heal even if everyone is willing.

Even though things are better between them, I don't know if everything is over.  It is just quieter now in the community.

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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Mon Oct 20, 2014 8:02 am

It's good they tolerate each other more.
Time will tell how it goes next months.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Mon Oct 20, 2014 11:56 am

As long as they didn't bury the hatchet in each other's heads it's a good start.

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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Mon Oct 20, 2014 6:15 pm

Yup. Definitely.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: Prayers for my church   Mon Oct 20, 2014 9:21 pm

Staybrite wrote:
As long as they didn't bury the hatchet in each other's heads it's a good start.



Well, it is Halloween, so I guess anything is possible! lol!


Truthfully, I hope it never gets that bad.  With the rural area that these families live in, disposing of the bodies would be very easy and no one would ever find the remains.  LOL

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