For lovers of Christian rock and heavy metal!
 
HomeHome  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  

Share | 
 

 God the Father and our earthly fathers

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : 1, 2  Next
AuthorMessage
Guilty/Forgiven

avatar

Number of posts : 8866
Age : 47
Localisation : Here
Registration date : 2007-05-18

PostSubject: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Mon Mar 30, 2015 5:30 pm

This is a sensitive subject for me that I've suppressed for many years.  I'm gonna be honest here and real. Forgive me if I offend. 


Some men here will identify, some won't. 


My Dad was a hard-a$$ - a man married to work, unable to show affection (he would tell my Mom in arguments that he showed his love by working his F#$!€&!  a$$ off every day), He was a strong disciplinarian.  Growing up with him, I never felt like I could please him... Most of my youth I never felt he was happy with me and I could never be good enough. I've spent my life hearing things he said to me echo in my head -things about my failures and being in the way and bothering him.  We had to keep our distance, not bother him, not make a peep when he was sleeping, never sit in his chair... Otherwise it was wrath. I lived fearing him and fearing I would never be good enough to please him.  I acted like I didn't care, but a son cannot disregard his need for a loving Father. So I kept it all inside unintentionally.


Though I wasn't aware of it at the time, this had a profound affect on me when I came to faith at 19.  I spent years learning and understanding the Father's Grace toward me, my studies brought fascination as I would learn God is our loving Father and unconditionally loves me- when I sin, when I fail him, He still loves me and will NEVER cast me aside.  
All this was cool to learn, but I've never believed it. Oh if you asked me, I would say I did... But my actions have always proved otherwise. I carried around a fractured relationship with my Dad as the pattern, the mold for my heavenly Father. 


For example:


Like my Dad, God the Father was hard, easy to upset, he would require action on my part to be pleased with me, and even then I wasn't good enough. I've been on a treadmill of works to please him all these years though I wouldn't admit it.


Our righteousness is a dirty smelly rag to Him. So why do we try to "please him" as though MORE dirty rags will make him giddy ?  I believe our actions should strive towards holiness as He has called us, not for salvation but cuz of salvation... But the absence of holiness and the presence of sin is not going to make Him change His mind about us.

We place too much human to human relationship upon the Father.  He's not like us.  if I don't talk to my wife for a few days and don't look to her needs, our relationship will begin to hurt... Earthly relationships require conditions - it's human nature !  God is not like that. I've found that years of anger, lack of prayer and Bible reading, etc mean nothing - when I surrendered my broken heart over to Him, we literally picked up right where I left Him as if those years didn't even happen. THAT'S the Father I am proud to serve. 


My wife and I watched Rich Mullins story yesterday -"Ragamuffin" 
That movie frickin WRECKED me !!  I know many have different opinions of the movie, but the concept of his relationship with his earthly Dad growing up was similar to mine... I immediately began doing the "man" thing and fighting back 45 years worth of tears on this very subject... At one point half way through the movie dealing with his Dad's relationship compared to how he sees God the Father... I lost it. Full childlike uncontrollable bawling ! My wife freaked as I tried to explain that the movie was kickin my a$$.  it affected me SO strongly that I cried through the entire movie. It may have left me with a splitting headache, but it was so perfectly written for me and spoke directly to me better than any pastor or psychologist could have. I am now concentrating on a relationship with my ABBA Father that is NOT based on any earthly relations. It's not easy, but after 26 years of viewing my Father in heaven thru the wrong lenses, I've now fallen back into His arms for Him to embrace me and carry me EVEN when I can't measure up, even when I fail, every second of the day.  I feel like the weight of the world is off my shoulders.


I sure wish we could hear more GRACE in churches today...

Lisa and I spent years in different churches and the common thread was works. Grace may be touched upon here or there, but the majority of "good sounding" messages were leaving me cold - I would leave church every Sunday feeling more of a failure, beaten down cuz I wasn't DOING all the stuff the finger pointing pastors would say we Christians should be doing. They'd buy their stupid buildings and then couldn't afford them so they guilt the people into giving more. Their guilt tactics of concentrating on the Do's and Dont's and how society would be better, the churches would be better if we were following Jesus' commands and be good Christians. I don't want to get into a pastor bashing here, I'm just making a point that going to church for so many years under different pastors was compounding my personal problem of never being able to measure up to this "Father" God whom I patterned after my own Dad.


 
I would love hear this from the pulpit:


"Jesus loves you when you're not reading your Bible"


"God still loves you and accepts you when you haven't prayed to Him for days, weeks, months, even years"


"The Father is crazy in love with you even if you quit going to church"


"Not one ounce of the Father's amazing love was lost for you when you sinned"


....and so on. Get the picture ?  We don't serve a God who requires our works, efforts and attention in order to "be on His good side"....and that's the Father that I am now going to rest in for my remaining days.


 


Thanks for listening and PRAISE BE TO OUR LOVING FATHER !!!
Back to top Go down
Xid

avatar

Number of posts : 3135
Age : 48
Localisation : Kalispell, MT
Registration date : 2014-03-12

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Mon Mar 30, 2015 5:53 pm

You have what the majority of us males have, and it's called "Father Wound".  And unfortunately, for most of us, we view God the same way we view our Dad.  And you're right, they aren't even remotely the same.  My first step in healing the Father Wound was forgiving my Dad.  It took a long time for that to complete in my heart.  But it did.
Back to top Go down
http://www.derekclose.com
Samson

avatar

Number of posts : 615
Age : 40
Localisation : Pine Bluff, Arkansas
Registration date : 2012-06-08

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Mon Mar 30, 2015 6:52 pm

My father was an evil piece of trash.
Back to top Go down
xenonlion

avatar

Number of posts : 1689
Age : 19
Registration date : 2013-08-19

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Mon Mar 30, 2015 7:01 pm

Although my situation is different, I grew up with false views of God. It's amazing to learn what He is really like.
Back to top Go down
xenonlion

avatar

Number of posts : 1689
Age : 19
Registration date : 2013-08-19

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Mon Mar 30, 2015 7:06 pm

I didn't have a horrible relationship with my dad, but for years I've been a little afraid of him. We have those moments where we can bond, but how he reacts to things scares me sometimes. I'm a little afraid of how he react when he finds out that I left Adventism.
Back to top Go down
Driven

avatar

Number of posts : 5609
Age : 99
Localisation : Sherbrooke, QC
Registration date : 2011-03-26

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Mon Mar 30, 2015 7:17 pm

I'm fortunate to have grown pretty close to my dad in recent years. When I was younger, he was kind of distant, always doing work, but now, we talk a lot more, especially since I'm starting to have to make my own decisions. I have deep respect for him, because he does still have authority over me, but we can still be as friends.

Regarding the idea of works, my last church really disoriented me theologically. Performance was heavily implied, so I was always fearing "am I good enough? where's the line of good enough or not to maintain my salvation?" Fortunately, my new church and my Bible school have given me a better look into how salvation works.

Should I ever be a father, I hope to be a reflection of God the Father to my kids, and even more so to my wife.
Back to top Go down
Guest
Guest



PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Mon Mar 30, 2015 8:51 pm

sorry about the bad dad experiences guys...I love and miss my dad very much (he died in 2001)...he was the best dad. He hugged me every time I saw him and he said he loved me everyday when I was a kid...even after I grew up and moved on he would call me to say he loved me...in fact the last words he ever said was I love you to me... He was disciplined and he punished when needed but he also showed us mercy and love and respect and he taught me some awesome things..he was the first to support me and take my side when I got my divorce from my first wife back in 1992...He also adored his grandchildren and he was a mighty faith filled man of God...
.......................
Thats how I see God...he is my dad and my Savior..he loves me unconditional and I have a real relationship with him...we talk and he teaches me things and we joke and I know he loves me and will never leave me...thats where I am now...its just pure relationship..I dont worry about theology much anymore and I am sick of trying to figure it out..I will just follow the spirit and let our father in heaven teach me what he wants me to know..truthfully I dont read the bible much and I dont worry about or even think about sin any more...just relationship..just Love God and do my best to love mankind and if there is a problem God will let me know and other than that I just get on with living life...
Back to top Go down
Samson

avatar

Number of posts : 615
Age : 40
Localisation : Pine Bluff, Arkansas
Registration date : 2012-06-08

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Tue Mar 31, 2015 12:18 am

I had an long diatribe typed up earlier when I accidentally clicked the logout button, and I didn't feel like retyping everything. So now, I'm going to spill the beans about my father.

He was a narcissistic sociopath who beat me as a child when I did wrong. And when I say beat, I don't mean a spanking like I probably deserved, but I mean he BEAT me. The first time it happened was on July 24, 1985, 18 days before I turned 8 years old. Dragged by the hair with one hand while the other was pounding my head. You don't forget something like that.  

I realize that there are teenagers here, so I'll try to keep this next part clean. On May 28, 1987, I woke up at about 3 in the morning, and my future step mother was molesting me while my dad stood at the door, getting his thrills. As if that wasn't enough, just two weeks later, it happened again with another woman he was seeing. I buried those two memories in the back of my mind for years and never told anybody about them until 1998 when I told my wife, and in 2011 when I exposed his deeds on facebook to all his family.

Nothing you did pleased him. If it wasn't done his way, he screamed at you. He sometimes beat me as well. Why I didn't stand up to him until the age of 32, I'll never know. He treated everyone like dogs****. A lot of people in church, including folks who I love dearly, and whose counsel I cherish, continually advised me that not forgiving him would swallow me like a cancer. And they were right.

In 2011, after I disowned him and cut all ties with him, he lost both of his limbs and wound up spending the last six months of his life in a rest home. I wanted SO BAD to find where he was at, just so I could gloat, but I never did. If there's anything I regret, it's that I never confronted him and asked him why he allowed his 9 year old son to be molested, and let it happen instead of protecting me like a father should have done. On July 1, 2011, he died. Alone. Because by then, nobody wanted anything to do with him. No more than 10 people showed up for his funeral, and three of them were his siblings who drove from out of state, and the ONLY reason I even went to his funeral was to support them. I never once shed a tear when I heard that he died.

Even though he was dead, I still hated him. Truthfully, I was also mad at God. Because for years, I wanted to kill him. I almost shot him one night. I wanted to be his angel of death, and God took that opportunity away from me. The bible says honor your father and your mother. I spent a long time arguing with God over that verse. I could go through with forgiving him. But I questioned God for many months about the honor your father verse. Because that sperm donor does not deserve one grrrrrr bit of honor from me.

I forgave him with my mouth, but I'm not so sure I have forgiven him in my heart. You can only try to bury your memories for so long, pretending that they never existed, but that will only exacerbate the situation. I have learned to accept that it happened, and just move forward.

So, yes, that has affected my view of God the Father. When the only father you've ever known as like the one I just described, it is so difficult to see God as a God of love, kindness, forgiveness, and mercy. Those qualities are the ones that I am lacking severely. Not trying to justify hatred or unforgiveness, here, but I admit that typing all this has my blood pressure at a boil. The wound hasn't been completely healed yet.


Last edited by Samson on Mon Apr 06, 2015 10:06 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top Go down
ishmael81

avatar

Number of posts : 3327
Age : 36
Localisation : St Louis
Registration date : 2012-06-08

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Tue Mar 31, 2015 8:44 am

Thanks everyone for sharing. I wasn't abused but my dad was distant for a long time. Only recently have we gotten closer.

As a result, I viewed God for a long time as an all-powerful deity who read the newspaper every night and didn't pay me any attention unless I mucked something up or didn't empty the dishwasher quick enough.

My wife helped me with that, as did a few books I read. The fact is that my dad, your dads, me as a dad to my son - we're all human and we're going to make mistakes. I've messed up so many times with my kid, even though he's only 6, but I always apologize and make things right.

I think Driven had an excellent statement - the best we can do is try to be a reflection of God to others in our lives, including (maybe especially our kids and spouses).
Back to top Go down
bassdude

avatar

Number of posts : 419
Age : 46
Localisation : Hannibal, MO
Registration date : 2012-06-08

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Tue Mar 31, 2015 2:12 pm

I wouldn't say I have had a bad relationship with my Dad, but I haven't had much of one until recently....when I was a kid, he was always working, usually second shift. So he was gone when I got home from school, and he was sleeping when I left for school. Doesn't leave much time to get to know someone....now that he's retired, and very sick, with 15% lung function from the world's worst case of COPD, we spend more time talking now than we ever have.

I have tried very hard to be around to do things with my kids, because I hated not ever seeing him or doing stuff together when I was little.
Back to top Go down
Guilty/Forgiven

avatar

Number of posts : 8866
Age : 47
Localisation : Here
Registration date : 2007-05-18

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Tue Mar 31, 2015 3:06 pm

I too appreciate everyone's input here.  Sometimes it's therapeutic just to chat about it.  

Growing up I said I'd never have kids, as I felt (and still feel) that this world sucks and why would I want to bring ANYONE into it.  I somewhat stayed true to that in that I never had my own kids. But I did raise my wife's kids as my own from very young.  I always said I'D NEVER BE LIKE MY DAD, and according to my kids today, they would agree that I loved them and showed and told them of that love all the time.  When my son became a teen and started trouble-making,  I did my best to discipline in love and not anger.  I was never perfect, but I feel I fulfilled my promise to myself, God, Lisa and the kids.

I'm sad to hear some of the stories here, and pray that healing comes or has come in your lives.
While my Dad was a lot like the Dad portrayed in Rich Mullins story, and while we still have a lot of distance, he's grown old, is no longer scary, and has a soft heart towards his grandkids today.  I'm thankful for that.  It was difficult at first to see him be so loving to his grandkids when he never showed it to us... but I try not to be petty about it today.  And while I forgave him, it didn't stop being screwed up in different ways -esp with my relationship with God the Father.  And thankfully that is now changing after all these years, praise God.
Back to top Go down
messiaen77

avatar

Number of posts : 1520
Age : 46
Localisation : in a yellow submarine
Registration date : 2011-08-23

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Thu Apr 02, 2015 9:24 am

When I was very young, my dad hooked up with my babysitter and left my mom and me.  My earliest memories of him was when I was elementary school age and he would come pick me up one Saturday a month in his silver Corvette and get a bite to eat and then go visit some of his friends.  I also remember a few of those Saturdays staring out the front window waiting for him to show up for hours.  To my mother's credit, she never said anything bad about him to or in front of me until I was in high school.  She remarried when I was four and I always thought of my step-father as my real dad.  He was the one who did stuff with me after all.  He is a bluegrass musician, so I really got my love for music through his influence.  In the summers he would come outside in the evening and stand at the corner of our front yard (we lived at the head of our dead end street) and say "I can whoop every kid in this neighborhood at the same time!" and we'd all come running to prove him wrong.  Sure enough, he usually did...unless Jeanna was home.  He was afraid of her.  She was a beautiful tomboy--one year she was the county fair queen AND won the tobacco spitting competition.  So that was pretty much the childhood I remember and the dad I remember.  It was all good until he started drinking when I was in about 7th grade.  Then he would go through these mean streaks.  He ended up having an affair with the female singer in his band, so Mom divorced him.  They remained friends and eventually remarried a few years ago.

My birth father was a salesman for a company that sold train parts to CSX and was working in Huntington when I went to college.  He lived there during the week and went back to Louisville on the weekends.  He called me one time and invited me to dinner.  I went, because honestly a college student doesn't turn down a free meal.  This started being a monthly thing.  Looking back, I really believe he was trying to make amends and get to know me, but at the time I was just in it for the free meal and the fact that he always gave me $50 at the end.  I went to a conference in Louisville over Christmas break one year, and he came and picked me up (now in a burgundy Corvette) and took me to lunch and back to see his house.  We kept doing the monthly dinners until my wife and I moved to Lexington.  One time, I'm pretty sure my wife and I weren't married yet, he told us that he wasn't going to be able to meet us for a while because he was going to have a little surgery.  By "little surgery," what he meant was "I'm having a kidney removed because I have cancer."  At my fiance's urging, I called to check on him after the surgery (I still didn't know the details and wouldn't for several years) and he invited us to come out to Louisville over Christmas break.  Well, it turned out that the day we were supposed to go, we had a horrific blizzard hit.  I was too stupid to realize what a bad idea this was, but we went ahead and drove out.  I guess at that point I wanted to be a part of his life.  It would normally be about a 3 1/2-4 hour drive, but it took us 8 hours to get there.  Fast forward a few years and I was standing in the kitchen of our apartment in Lexington when my step-mother called.  She told me that he was going to have surgery to remove a brain tumor.  This is when she told me the whole cancer story.  I went to be with him for the surgery and we had some time to talk just us and we were able to make some strong steps to building a relationship.  We made some plans to do stuff, but his declining health and my school schedule meant we didn't do it.  Well, my school schedule was more of an excuse than anything.  He died in November 2001 and I am still trying to deal with the regret of the lost opportunity to make things right.
Back to top Go down
Guilty/Forgiven

avatar

Number of posts : 8866
Age : 47
Localisation : Here
Registration date : 2007-05-18

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Fri Apr 03, 2015 11:10 am

I can't give you any advise from experience but I can say that it's not healthy to live with regrets.  It sounds to me like you did what you could on your end.  I have a good friend who's never been able to find his birth parents - so just the fact that you got to meet him and spend time with him is pretty cool.
Back to top Go down
alldatndensum
Admin
avatar

Number of posts : 17981
Age : 47
Localisation : Tennessee
Registration date : 2007-01-30

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Mon Apr 06, 2015 6:36 am

Quote :

My Dad was a hard-a$$ - a man married to work, unable to show affection (he would tell my Mom in arguments that he showed his love by working his F#$!€&!  a$$ off every day), He was a strong disciplinarian.  Growing up with him, I never felt like I could please him... Most of my youth I never felt he was happy with me and I could never be good enough. I've spent my life hearing things he said to me echo in my head -things about my failures and being in the way and bothering him.  We had to keep our distance, not bother him, not make a peep when he was sleeping, never sit in his chair... Otherwise it was wrath. I lived fearing him and fearing I would never be good enough to please him.  I acted like I didn't care, but a son cannot disregard his need for a loving Father. So I kept it all inside unintentionally.

Sounds like my dad.

We did become friends the last 10 years or so of his life when he became disabled.  I was able to forgive him for many of his actions.  However, I still fight those feelings of not being good enough daily.  I am still an insecure child inside who just needs his dad to acknowledge him, guide him, teach him, love him, etc.  Sadly, I do project my relationship with my dad onto God.  Even now, we're just casual friends, but I still feel like I am not good enough for Him.  He's distant and always working in others' lives but has little time for mine. 

I have a hard time being friends with anyone nowadays.  I fear rejection and have trust issues.  I am amazed that I even share these things with all of you.  I guess it is because you are all miles away and there is little risk.  If this sours, I can shut off the computer and move on.  I have become my dad in many ways and only have social interaction with my wife and when I am at church.  At church, however, I am the minister and people don't make close friends with the pastors.  It is incredibly lonely.  My wife doesn't understand completely when I say this, but I NEED some male friends.  I need some time with other guys who will acknowledge me, encourage and strengthen me, bust my chops when I mess things up, pray with me, etc.  However, I just don't know how to be friends.  I don't really know how to be a good friend towards God either.

I really suck at relationships and yet people expect me to be an expert.

_________________




I might have decided, or maybe not, that I should or shouldn't, depending on the issue or non-issue, to possibly share or not share, any thoughts, opinions, or facts (that might not be deemed factual by some), due to possible fear of any misinterpretation or retribution.
Back to top Go down
http://www.christianhardmusic.com
rockerVu2

avatar

Number of posts : 14569
Age : 88
Registration date : 2007-02-09

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:56 am

God has given me a loving caring dad.
He had his own business and that kept him busy.
He always understood it when something was bothering me.
From my dad I have the love for music.
He loved it to listen to the music of Ludwig von Beethoven, he loved jazz.
But we have listened to the blues of Darrell Mansfield and Glen Kaiser.

God brought my dad home almost 11 years ago.
I miss you dad.
When live is hitting me hard, I miss it to talk to you and mom what to do.

There are more people who struggle with the same things as you do Chris.
I feel so many people don't accept me because I'm different than "normal" people do.
Back to top Go down
Guilty/Forgiven

avatar

Number of posts : 8866
Age : 47
Localisation : Here
Registration date : 2007-05-18

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Mon Apr 06, 2015 5:20 pm

Wow Alldat.. we have much in common. Though I'm not a minister as you are, the rest is identical to my experience.  I'm on a daily struggle now to remember HOW much the Father loves me, that He's NOT my Dad but a close always loving Father who never withdraws love or acceptance of me and is proud of me and pleased with me... EVEN when I scroo up ! 
It's a new life, a whole new walk for me and I'm digging each day. 
I still have all my struggles except for the self-deprecating, self-loathing, and feeling of not being good enough for Him.  When I "got it" - I bawled like a sniveling child for 20 minutes, then cried for another hour after that. The Ragamuffin movie wrecked me... but in such an awesome way. 
If u ever watch it, his Dad is almost a carbon copy to mine... and a lot of Rich's actions and responses were mine as well. I praise the Father everyday for bringing that movie into my life.  And for the life and testimonies of Mullins and Brennan Manning.

I still love the fact that Rich wrote Awesome God while smoking - just something about that... so many "perfect" believers sing that song on Sunday morning who think it's such a terrible sin to smoke. It ain't smart, but it's so typical of us believers today... focusing on all the Do's and Dont's and not on the fact that we humans can't be sinless, we can't gain God's love or acceptance - He's ALREADY given it to us... for good !  I'm so much more in love with Him and FREE now that I see these things.  He is truly good to us... we need to work on believing this. Believe that He loves you and accepts you ALL THE TIME, not just when you're doing His will, even when you're sinning.
I could go on due to my excitement, but you all get the point.
Back to top Go down
Guest
Guest



PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Mon Apr 06, 2015 5:56 pm

Let me just say a few things here and hopefully build you guys up...I understand the no trust issues and I understand being the loneliest guy in the room and I understand the need to be appreciated and accepted for who we are...(alot of things you guys like alldat and G/F describe is how it is between me and my mom)....as a few of ya know I have been going to counseling the last couple of months and God has used that to work wonders in my heart and mind...
First off its not our fault how our parents treat/treated us. I know everyone has heard that before but its worth saying now and its worth really thinking about...once a person really realizes deep inside their heart that its not their fault it really opens the door to see things in a different light...I have gone from trying real hard with my mom to really feeling sorry for her and praying for her... being married to a bipolar has also brought me alot of pain at times...she has committed every sin thinkable against me at one point or another (including lying and cheating on me)...but that is in the past and had nothing to do with me and God has healed me...And he is healing my marriage all the time..
God always has time for you! He thinks about each one of you every second of the day and he is not angry at you or expecting you to measure up...He sent his son and Jesus took the anger and Jesus had to measure up and the good news is he did measure up and took the punishment so we dont have to...Thats how much God loves each of us...God completely loves you Alldat with all his heart! God completely loves you G/F with all his heart! God completely loves youM77 with all his heart! God completely loves you Samson with all his heart...and He completely accepts you as you are.... He cares about everything in your life and blesses each of us every single day...He knows it hurts and he knows we are human and he has experienced more rejection and hatred from his creation than any of us can even imagine... Yet he still loves every single person who rejects him... The thing is this everyone..there is no record of sin in heaven..Jesus took away the sin problem and left us with love, forgiveness, acceptance and a path to true happiness...God is your father..he is the perfect father, he is the loving father and his son is the perfect brother and messiah...he loves you..I encourage each of us to pray for each other and I encourage each of you to put down the church theology's and the books and whatever and just sit quietly and share every single aspect of your joys and pains with God and wait for him to answer because he will! I will pray for each of you and that God will send you a best friend who will be everything a friend should be....
Back to top Go down
ishmael81

avatar

Number of posts : 3327
Age : 36
Localisation : St Louis
Registration date : 2012-06-08

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Tue Apr 07, 2015 8:54 am

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:
Wow Alldat.. we have much in common. Though I'm not a minister as you are, the rest is identical to my experience.  I'm on a daily struggle now to remember HOW much the Father loves me, that He's NOT my Dad but a close always loving Father who never withdraws love or acceptance of me and is proud of me and pleased with me... EVEN when I scroo up ! 
It's a new life, a whole new walk for me and I'm digging each day. 
I still have all my struggles except for the self-deprecating, self-loathing, and feeling of not being good enough for Him.  When I "got it" - I bawled like a sniveling child for 20 minutes, then cried for another hour after that. The Ragamuffin movie wrecked me... but in such an awesome way. 
If u ever watch it, his Dad is almost a carbon copy to mine... and a lot of Rich's actions and responses were mine as well. I praise the Father everyday for bringing that movie into my life.  And for the life and testimonies of Mullins and Brennan Manning.

I still love the fact that Rich wrote Awesome God while smoking - just something about that... so many "perfect" believers sing that song on Sunday morning who think it's such a terrible sin to smoke. It ain't smart, but it's so typical of us believers today... focusing on all the Do's and Dont's and not on the fact that we humans can't be sinless, we can't gain God's love or acceptance - He's ALREADY given it to us... for good !  I'm so much more in love with Him and FREE now that I see these things.  He is truly good to us... we need to work on believing this. Believe that He loves you and accepts you ALL THE TIME, not just when you're doing His will, even when you're sinning.
I could go on due to my excitement, but you all get the point.

Good post.

One of my favorite quotes about this was in an interview with Michael Knott. I have no idea where the magazine is now - I had it 10 years ago... he said:

"I cuss, I drink  and I smoke. And God loves me just as much as anyone else."
Back to top Go down
messiaen77

avatar

Number of posts : 1520
Age : 46
Localisation : in a yellow submarine
Registration date : 2011-08-23

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Tue Apr 07, 2015 9:16 am

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:
I can't give you any advise from experience but I can say that it's not healthy to live with regrets.  It sounds to me like you did what you could on your end.  I have a good friend who's never been able to find his birth parents - so just the fact that you got to meet him and spend time with him is pretty cool.
Thanks G/F, yeah, living with regrets adds so much baggage to life.  The thing is, I didn't do all I could.  If I had, I would be able to accept it because I do understand that I can only control half of what goes into a relationship.  Thanks for starting this thread--there is so much in the father/son relationship that translates to the Father/son relationship.  I think I might have mentioned before about how I experimented with the charismatic movement in college (of course it may have been in a theology thread on CMR, so many of you probably didn't see it anyway Smile ).  The one time I truly felt like someone's prophetic statement to me was actually a word from God was the time the guy told me (without having any normal way of knowing about it) about my broken relationship with my father and how it was keeping me from fully trusting in God.
Back to top Go down
Guilty/Forgiven

avatar

Number of posts : 8866
Age : 47
Localisation : Here
Registration date : 2007-05-18

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Tue Apr 07, 2015 10:35 am

Thanks to everyone who's put their hearts down in this thread... I believe it's very therapeutic to discuss these things.  I really recommend to all men here who've had a Dad/son relationship  (or lack of) like me... watch the Ragamuffin movie ! Each persons experience may be different but I can speak for myself in that it helped me tremendously- to the point of changing my LIFE ! 
I wish Pastors everywhere would watch it too... there'd be less (unintentional) preaching of works, appearance and what we shouldn't be doing and more of the freedom we have in Christ -and helping men of ALL ages understand this whole thread we've been discussing.  Like I said before, most churches (not all pastors of course) I've been to always left me feeling worse cuz I wasn't "living up" to what was being thrown at me from the pulpit.
"Do this, do that. If you're not moving forward, you're backslidden. We shouldn't have to ask anyone to teach Sunday school cuz all you Christians should be breaking down our doors to volunteer. If every believer here would give 10% we would never have any needs and our new building wouldn't be going into foreclosure"

And i could go on... I just wish we could hear more GRACE less GUILT, more of His unconditional love for us men, that we don't have to "perform" to be accepted -to measure up. 

My Dad was unpleasable and this weekend I had a talk with my Mom and just realized her Baptist upbringing has her in this whole "God is mad at me when I sin" cycle.  So she had a big part in messing my mind with "works" too.  We had a nice talk and I helped her "get it" or at least think about it.
Back to top Go down
Guilty/Forgiven

avatar

Number of posts : 8866
Age : 47
Localisation : Here
Registration date : 2007-05-18

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Tue Apr 07, 2015 3:06 pm

Ishmael81 that Knott quote is excellent and true !
Back to top Go down
messiaen77

avatar

Number of posts : 1520
Age : 46
Localisation : in a yellow submarine
Registration date : 2011-08-23

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Tue Apr 07, 2015 7:08 pm

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:
Thanks to everyone who's put their hearts down in this thread... I believe it's very therapeutic to discuss these things.  I really recommend to all men here who've had a Dad/son relationship  (or lack of) like me... watch the Ragamuffin movie ! Each persons experience may be different but I can speak for myself in that it helped me tremendously- to the point of changing my LIFE ! 
I wish Pastors everywhere would watch it too... there'd be less (unintentional) preaching of works, appearance and what we shouldn't be doing and more of the freedom we have in Christ -and helping men of ALL ages understand this whole thread we've been discussing.  Like I said before, most churches (not all pastors of course) I've been to always left me feeling worse cuz I wasn't "living up" to what was being thrown at me from the pulpit.
"Do this, do that. If you're not moving forward, you're backslidden. We shouldn't have to ask anyone to teach Sunday school cuz all you Christians should be breaking down our doors to volunteer. If every believer here would give 10% we would never have any needs and our new building wouldn't be going into foreclosure"

And i could go on... I just wish we could hear more GRACE less GUILT, more of His unconditional love for us men, that we don't have to "perform" to be accepted -to measure up. 

My Dad was unpleasable and this weekend I had a talk with my Mom and just realized her Baptist upbringing has her in this whole "God is mad at me when I sin" cycle.  So she had a big part in messing my mind with "works" too.  We had a nice talk and I helped her "get it" or at least think about it.
If I may add to this, it isn't just church that teaches us this.  Society as a whole tells us men that we need to be strong, independent, and self-reliant.  When we get knocked down, we need to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and show everyone that nothing bothers us.  We are judged on our careers, our incomes, the size of our homes, how pretty our wives are, and how good our kids are at sports.  It is just not acceptable for a man to admit that he needs help--that is weakness.

Guys, we just can't catch a break from anywhere.  Thank God HE doesn't expect us to live up to any of these standards!
Back to top Go down
Guest
Guest



PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Tue Apr 07, 2015 11:55 pm

Quote :
If I may add to this, it isn't just church that teaches us this.  Society as a whole tells us men that we need to be strong, independent, and self-reliant.  When we get knocked down, we need to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and show everyone that nothing bothers us.  We are judged on our careers, our incomes, the size of our homes, how pretty our wives are, and how good our kids are at sports.  It is just not acceptable for a man to admit that he needs help--that is weakness.

Guys, we just can't catch a break from anywhere.  Thank God HE doesn't expect us to live up to any of these standards!

good point...i think that is why we as believers are told to abandon the world..not so much in what we watch on tv or how we dress but more in the way the world thinks...Jesus changes our hearts and that makes us appear to be rebels to the world and in some ways we are...I for one will stand up and say that I need help. We all need help and I encourage everyone here to see their fellow believers as real men and women because they have the guts to stand up and say we need help..It takes Guts to stand up to the world and I applaud each and every believer!!
cheers
Back to top Go down
Guilty/Forgiven

avatar

Number of posts : 8866
Age : 47
Localisation : Here
Registration date : 2007-05-18

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Wed Apr 08, 2015 1:14 pm

I am loving this thread and giving praise to our mutual loving Father who has truly freed each of us here.  So many great points brought up... I am blown away by the Grace of God like never before !! 

I AM FREE !!!!!  The ball and chain of "Grace coated Works" has been removed from me !!
Back to top Go down
Samson

avatar

Number of posts : 615
Age : 40
Localisation : Pine Bluff, Arkansas
Registration date : 2012-06-08

PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   Wed Apr 08, 2015 8:54 pm

I want to see that Ragamuffin movie. But at the same time, I'm a little afraid of how much it could change me, going on the testimony of g/f. Sounds silly, but it's true. I am so scared of change, but I know it's sometimes needed.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: God the Father and our earthly fathers   

Back to top Go down
 
God the Father and our earthly fathers
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 2Go to page : 1, 2  Next
 Similar topics
-
» Zakk Wylde father passes....
» Question for the day.
» Worship album recommendation
» Welcome, All!!
» Studio 54 v Godfather: 1984 [UD]

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Christian Hard Music :: The WORD - Biblical Discussion and Prayer Requests-
Jump to: