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 Doctors Appt/ Recovery

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xenonlion

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Number of posts : 1689
Age : 19
Registration date : 2013-08-19

PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Thu Apr 16, 2015 7:25 pm

Today hasn't been so bad. Really, I dunno. There are those times when food is just whatever and those other times when I just want to eat. It's really annoying. It's hard to tell when I'm hungry. Maybe I am. It's hard to tell at times. I know the importance of eating though. I make sure I eat something.

I got really discouraged for a little bit last night. I was comparing myself to someone else, which is really annoying. We don't even do the same type of exercise. I'm more into cardio and dancing because I find it enjoyable. I'm not gonna be all toned or anything. Oh well. I continue to pray about stuff like this. I feel like I'm getting worse. It seems like when I start to get better, I end up getting worse. I don't know. These things happen.

Sometimes I just feel disgusting. I compare myself to people too much.

Sometimes I reject a snack when my stomach feels so whatever. I don't like snacking very often and when I do, it's usually very little.

I can't tell if I'm hungry or not right now. My stomach feels weird, my mouth is okay, my throat is kinda weird. I don't know. You could probably say that I abuse gum. I use it to keep myself from eating too much. I don't know if I'm hungry. I'm not gonna eat, though, because it's too late.
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xenonlion

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PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Sat Apr 18, 2015 5:30 am

Yesterday was kinda strange. I ate less than usual because I wanted to have a cookie in the evening. I always "disorderfy" everything. :/ My stomach was bugging me yesterday morning and I semi-reluctantly ate a piece of fruit to hopefully calm my stomach down a little.

I got to see my parents last night. Very Happy I wonder if my dad is worried about me. He jokingly said that he's gonna fatten me up. Okay. But then he said that I just have to eat. I wonder if I look different than I did a month ago. Did I lose more? :/ What if I'm under 100 lbs? I don't know. I'll have to wait in order to see.
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xenonlion

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PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Sat Apr 18, 2015 10:24 pm

I really want to get help. I don't like being stuck in these cycles. I'm not afraid of bloating or discomfort. I'm more afraid of gaining weight, which might be something that happens.

I really like to eat. I like food. I like looking at food. I like it when other people eat their food. I'm just afraid. I'm afraid of losing control or overeating. I like to eat things I have control over. This makes it REALLY hard to go out with friends or family. This makes trips difficult. I feel safe and comfortable when I know how many calories are in everything and when I get different food groups.

It's scary when I feel guilty for having what is probably a healthy amount of food at a meal. I need help. I really do.

Today at church we were all told to stand. When I stood up I got really weak and almost dizzy. In the mornings, I have stomach aches even though I eat breakfast every morning.

I feel like this is all my fault.
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Xid

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PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Sat Apr 18, 2015 10:57 pm

There's more to it than blame.  There's even more to it than just a mindset even though a lot of it is psychological.  I recommend seeking professional help.
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PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Sun Apr 19, 2015 12:24 pm

Sounds like you dont only need professional help but you need to eat more...so what if you gain some weight..its not the end of the world and it wont hurt you...
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xenonlion

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PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Fri Apr 24, 2015 7:06 pm

I went to the doctor today.
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Xid

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PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Fri Apr 24, 2015 11:19 pm

And?
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xenonlion

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PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Mon Apr 27, 2015 7:03 pm

I have another appointment early June. My sense of hunger is messing up. I can't always tell whether I'm hungry it not. It would be nice to get better so I don't die or something. It's hard and I really am trying. We're going to get help for me. Sorry if I am being a burden. I tend to be good at that.
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Xid

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PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Mon Apr 27, 2015 7:12 pm

You're not a burden.  No worries there!
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kerrick

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PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Mon Apr 27, 2015 11:09 pm

Yeah seriously!!!  I am honored you trust us enough to include us in even the most difficult facets of your life.
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Tue Apr 28, 2015 7:43 am

Not a burden at all. The Bible tells us to pray with and for each other. That means we have to share what we need prayer for sometimes.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Tue Apr 28, 2015 9:53 am

Praying for you little sister.  Don't feel like you are a burden to us, if we can't help share each other's problems and challenges than what good are we?  Praying the doctor will help you overcome your eating challenges.

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"I used to be indecisive.......... Now I'm not sure."
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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Tue Apr 28, 2015 1:20 pm

1. You're not a burden 
2. Never feel bad about sharing here, no one judges (and if someone did, they probably would NOT fit in too well here)
3. God WILL see you through this
4. We will pray for you and are here for you 
5. Smile  Very Happy
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xenonlion

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PostSubject: Re: Doctors Appt/ Recovery    Tue Apr 28, 2015 6:28 pm

Thanks, guys. I shouldn't worry so much. I really hope to get better. It's a little scary... Something really weird is that eating doesn't really change how my body feels that much. Sometimes I seem a little hungry before and not to hungry after, but that's mainly with breakfast. Throughout the day, I'm very indifferent, but I get a little lightheaded or dizzy sometimes. Other times, my stomach hurts or I have other pains and discomforts in my body. I can't just eat more. Doing so is hard to do because I don't allow myself to. If I manage to eat a good amount, I get bloated and tired and I feel guilty. Snacks are weird, too because I don't feel hungry when I eat them or after I eat them. Then the next meal comes and I have to eat again. I know that they'll want me to have snacks if I'm put on a meal plan, though. I didn't even realize I had a problem at first. Not until my doctor said her concerns. Well, thank you for praying for me. I will be getting more help soon.
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