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 I feel like my spirit has hit rock bottom

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Samson

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Age : 40
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PostSubject: I feel like my spirit has hit rock bottom    Mon Apr 13, 2015 11:35 pm

This is the note I just put on facebook a few minutes ago, for those of you who aren't on my list:


He holds the towel in his hand, uncertain of what he wants to do. Or what he will do. Does he throw the towel in, and with it, watch everything burn away that he has fought for? Does he continue to be silent, wishing all this would go away? Or does he continue to go against the grain towards the prize of eternity, even though he knows that his only friends are grief and pain? He knows that his blanket of security could one day just vanish into thin air, and for that, he is scared. This is a man who has tried to want to have his own faith in God, for his own reasons, and not just because his elders raised him up with the biblical precepts written so many centuries ago.

He wants to be jubilant. He wants to be jovial. He wants to be outgoing, loving, and kind. He wants to experience the love of the Heavenly Father, but the pain and memories of an earthly father have hardened his heart so much over the years, that no matter how much he tries to hold on, no matter how much he tries to press in, no matter how much he keeps on refusing to abandon ship;

No matter how much he prays, the love of Christ feels foreign to him. He feels like he is at an impasse. His voracious appetite for food becomes his medicine, among other things which he hides in the shadows, from even those he knows and loves deeply. Those are the things at night which not only torment him, but they are also the lullabies that soothe him to sleep.

He buries himself in scripture, reading multiple chapters every single day, without fail, and yet, he still feels nothing. He pours his heart out typing stuff like this note, looking for advice, trying to find an answer to the million dollar question that leaves a hole burning in his heart: Why does the love of Christ feel unreachable to this man? He has exhausted himself trying to find the answers, and he is tired. 

I am that man.
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MikeInFla

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PostSubject: Re: I feel like my spirit has hit rock bottom    Tue Apr 14, 2015 5:30 am

Thanks for sharing, you will be in my prayers. Sometimes I have that million dollar question as well. And my escape is my work (sadly). I throw myself into work and some day I am going to say "why did I work so hard?". I have periods in my life where everything is OK and I am oblivious like a child to the spirit, which in reality means it isn't ok. 

I feel for you. And I will pray for you.
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: I feel like my spirit has hit rock bottom    Tue Apr 14, 2015 9:35 am

So before I responded, I asked God to give me words to say... hope this helps.

I've had this same issue as well. We don't have to work harder or be better to experience God's love. Sometimes God wants us just to sit down, shut up and listen to him. So here's some things I've listened to that helped me.

Proverbs 23:7 
"As [a man] thinks in his heart, so is he"














Romans 5:8

 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.



Isaiah 49:15

“Can a woman forget her nursing child,
that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget,
yet I will not forget you."




1 John 3:1
See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him.





Psalm 103:8
The Lord is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

Matthew 10:29-31
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Romans 8:38-39
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

God loves you no matter what you've done, what you do or how you feel. Like I said, this may not help at all, but if it didn't, someone else may have needed to read that.
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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: I feel like my spirit has hit rock bottom    Tue Apr 14, 2015 10:44 am

Samson - MikeinFla and Ishmael81 said it right: Talk to God even of its a strained or distant relationship right now, and remind yourself every second of the day that His love for His children is not dependent on your actions (whether you're doing all "the right things" or whether you're far from Him in sin).

I can finally speak from experience on this subject, but I won't compare myself to you cuz each individual suffers their own unique pains for seasons.  The key is: SEASONS. Each season of extreme difficulty sometimes gets longer as you get older, but He also gives us the Grace needed to lean on Him.  I realized that even when I was in my deepest despair and angry with God and life, I still had a measure of faith that kept me coming back to Him.

If I could say one thing to you it'd be this: realize each day that HE holds the towel... you will feel like throwing it in, but He's gonna wash it, fold it and give it back to you with an Andes Mint on top.

Please trust me when I say this- I just came out of a 10+ year period of being angry, hating life to the point of giving up, and distance from the Father... I didn't "waste" 10 years, I gained 10 years of experience and God allowed me to pick right up from where I left Him a decade ago.... He is eternal and time means nothing to Him, so it was like I never left Him.

Just some food for thought my friend. Your CHM family loves you and will keep praying for you.
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PostSubject: Re: I feel like my spirit has hit rock bottom    Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:31 pm



Brother..its not about reading the Bible all the time and its not about living a certain way or avoiding certain things in life....Jesus said many will say to him that they did all these things in his name but Jesus will say he doesn't know them and will send them away..I am sure these people went to church, read their Bibles, prayed for others, tithed regularly and volunteered..some of them may have even told others about Jesus....So how could Jesus say to them he never knew them if they did all these things... Simple my brother, they didn't have a relationship with him....you see, God's whole desire is to have a real relationship with mankind...He loves us no matter where we are in life and he loves us no matter what we have done or what we are feeling...He loves you Samson!!!! He wants a relationship with you.... The number one thing that steals, kills and destroys that is religion!! Religion is trying to do all the right things to please God in hope that he will in return love you... The good news is he loves you no matter what you do and there is nothing (NOTHING) you can do on your own to change that. Relationship means to walk away from religion and just love and trust and lean on Jesus... He already did everything for you and he wants to do more than save you... He wants to set you free and you are already free my brother..You just dont realize it yet... The Scripture says if we draw near to Christ he draws near to us...it also says that those who seek shall find... I encourage you to quit trying so hard with your strength and surrender yourself to Christ...what does that mean? that means just trust that God has has it under control and that he loves you...Just bathe yourself in his grace and his love and his mercy and know that no matter what he loves you and you are already forgiven... I encourage you to give up on religion and just love Jesus...Its Jesus plus nothing...Its God without religion. Its real true relationship with God...I am here if you want to talk...just pm me...
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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: I feel like my spirit has hit rock bottom    Tue Apr 14, 2015 12:45 pm

Agreed 100% I agreeAmen

Took me years of understanding it with my mind to finally get it into my heart... but now I understand just HOW free I really am !
There's WAY too much "Grace coated works" in today's Christianity, and it enslave us again back into feeling condemned by the One who says there is NOW NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus!
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Samson

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PostSubject: Re: I feel like my spirit has hit rock bottom    Tue Apr 14, 2015 1:15 pm

I watched the video. I'll respond to everything in just a little while.
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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: I feel like my spirit has hit rock bottom    Tue Apr 14, 2015 1:36 pm

Great video !!!
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xenonlion

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PostSubject: Re: I feel like my spirit has hit rock bottom    Tue Apr 14, 2015 2:47 pm

God is there, even if it doesn't feel like it. He is beyond our human senses and understanding. Ephesians is really comforting for me to read. So is Romans. I really really like Ephesians 1:3-14. Also Romans 8.
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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: I feel like my spirit has hit rock bottom    Thu Apr 16, 2015 11:58 pm

^ great verses indeed Thumbs Up
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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: I feel like my spirit has hit rock bottom    Mon Apr 20, 2015 8:25 am

I can type scriptures encouraging words, parts of songs that really touched my heart.
I think keeping you in prayer is what I have to do for you Samson.
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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: I feel like my spirit has hit rock bottom    Wed Apr 22, 2015 7:42 am

My heart aching to read that your relationship with your father on earth is the cause that you can not see God as a loving father. A Father who loves to take care of you.

What I can do is ask God if He wants to show you that He is longing to be a Father to you. A Father who does not compare with your father on earth.
God loved you so much that He has given his only Son to set you free.

Even you were the only person on earth He died for your sins to set you free.


God is patient and will never insist. He waits patiently till you seek Him.
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