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 Hope

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xenonlion

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Number of posts : 1689
Age : 19
Registration date : 2013-08-19

PostSubject: Hope   Thu May 28, 2015 7:40 am

Hey guys. I know I haven't been on much and I do apologize. I've been busy.

Many times, I feel trapped within Adventism and also within my very confusing eating disorder.

My eating disorder does not want to be found. I can eat what others eat most of he time, but I eat less, feel guilty if I don't, and then compensate. I restrict a lot and I can feel the internal battle going on. It's also very easy to see in my journal. I feel so stuck a lot of the time. When I fight against the eating disorder, I feel guilty later. Even days later. It's really hard. Sometimes, I have trouble controlling myself and after a while of restricting, I eat more than I expected to uncontrollably and I feel guilty. It doesn't happen a lot, but it's scary when it does happen. I like to eat alone so people don't compare what and how I eat to themselves. I realized a while ago how little I eat compared to others.

With Adventism and really family in general, I can easily feel trapped. Literally, I'm surrounded by Adventism all the time. I feel like I'll be shamed when I leave. Even when I'm an adult, Adventism will still follow me in one way or another. Right now, I can't really do too muh about it.

Also, another burden is that I have different political views than most of my family. Again, I feel like I'll be shamed more. I'll kinda be the weirdo in the family who didn't vote Democrat. I'm not a Democrat, but my family is. I don't plan on voting Republican either, but I know that if I do, it will hurt my family especially my dad. I should stop having political talks with them.

Well, in spite of all of this, I still feel like there is hope for me. I will be able to recover. Also, I will be able to leave Adventism, not be Democrat, AND be happy and have joy. Even if my family looks down on me. I can't please everyone. There has been too much shame and guilt in my life, but I believe that God will help me to be free from those things and the crippling effects they have.

This sounded better in my head, but whatever.
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ishmael81

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Number of posts : 3365
Age : 36
Localisation : St Louis
Registration date : 2012-06-08

PostSubject: Re: Hope   Thu May 28, 2015 7:53 am

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

XL, you have no need to feel shame.Yes, your family may shame you when you leave Adventism. Yes, they may not like that you're not Democrat (I personally abstain from politics altogether, which baffles most of my family). But ultimately, you have to be who you feel God is leading you to be.

It's tough now, I know. When I was your age (man, I'm old...) I was worried because I wasn't Baptist anymore. My parents didn't like it but they've accepted that even though we're in a different church, we're still going, we're still taking our son and most importantly, we still believe in Jesus.

I'll be praying for you.
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Staybrite

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Number of posts : 18228
Age : 49
Localisation : Seattle
Registration date : 2007-02-08

PostSubject: Re: Hope   Thu May 28, 2015 8:45 am

Still praying for you little sister.  Trust in Christ and don't expect all your problems to be solved quickly.

_________________
"I used to be indecisive.......... Now I'm not sure."
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topshot rhit



Number of posts : 2949
Localisation : Indiana
Registration date : 2007-01-30

PostSubject: Re: Hope   Thu May 28, 2015 9:24 am

xenonlion wrote:
Well, in spite of all of this, I still feel like there is hope for me. I will be able to recover. Also, I will be able to leave Adventism, not be Democrat, AND be happy and have joy. Even if my family looks down on me. I can't please everyone. There has been too much shame and guilt in my life, but I believe that God will help me to be free from those things and the crippling effects they have.

This sounded better in my head, but whatever.

It read well on my screen. What a Face

_________________
"If you are not concerned about your neighbor's salvation,
you should be concerned about your own."
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alldatndensum
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Number of posts : 18177
Age : 48
Localisation : Tennessee
Registration date : 2007-01-30

PostSubject: Re: Hope   Fri May 29, 2015 7:25 am

Xenon, you are carrying a heavy load for someone so young.  Just know that the power of Christ is going to see you through and you are going to come out of this as an amazing woman of grace with a powerful testimony of how Jesus delivered you.  We are praying for you as well.

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I might have decided, or maybe not, that I should or shouldn't, depending on the issue or non-issue, to possibly share or not share, any thoughts, opinions, or facts (that might not be deemed factual by some), due to possible fear of any misinterpretation or retribution.
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BearDad



Number of posts : 2056
Localisation : Pierre, SD
Registration date : 2013-05-01

PostSubject: Re: Hope   Fri May 29, 2015 8:14 am

Hey XL, The Footprints In the Sand poem is so well known it is almost cliche, but it is also very true. Yes your burden is heavy, but know you are not carrying it alone. Jesus is with you, and nothing will  happen that you cannot handle as long as you trust Him to help. Remember, it was only when he stopped trusting Jesus that Peter began to sink (Matthew 14:30).
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xenonlion

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Number of posts : 1689
Age : 19
Registration date : 2013-08-19

PostSubject: Re: Hope   Sat May 30, 2015 8:20 pm

Thanks so much, guys. You're like family to me.
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