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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: No one to talk to   Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:43 am

So, I have no one to talk to right now and am laying here sleepless just really needing to get all this out.
On top of the pain and depression I've already been struggling with for the past 2 weeks, my daughter's boyfriend finally did what Lisa and I knew and said he was going to do.

The signs were all there and my wife had multiple talks with her about how dangerous he was. My daughter was convinced he was "doing better" and would be a great Dad to their baby (that she thought was a "great idea" to conceive) Rolling Eyes  - Her boyfriend already had multiple melt-downs, breaking things and threatening her.  Well, Tuesday night was the last straw (for her. WE were done with him 2 years ago). He held a knife to her throat all night, breaking things in the house and punching holes in the walls. At one point after telling her she's gonna have to have an abortion, he balled up his fist and said he was gonna punch her in the stomach to kill the baby. After she got ready that morning for work, she pretended to leave for work only to rush over to her Dad's and spill everything to him. Her Dad promptly called the police and had him arrested. There's now a restraining order and $50,000 bail on him. His parents have no money, and are on her side anyways. We're relieved she finally seen what a psycho he is, even if it had to be this extreme measure... it's just a shame she had to get pregnant first. What I'm concerned about is, he now has "nothing to lose"- so when/if he gets out, he may finish the job.

I am now sick to my stomach, can't sleep, and fearing what the future holds for my daughter as well as my wife - since we have not been very supportive of their relationship. My wife is stressed enough having a disabled husband and all the problems she has at work, now this crap is laid on her as well.

Between the disability and the bad decisions of both our kids, there's just gotta be some good coming our way anytime now, cuz quite frankly, I can't deal with anymore problems.

Anyways, thanks for listening. I'm not looking for sympathy or anything, I just needed to talk, get this out, as it's just gnawing at my gut.
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alldatndensum
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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Fri Feb 10, 2017 7:24 am

I couldn't talk when you wrote this.  If you will download Skype, we can chat this afternoon after work or possible even on my drive home.

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rockerVu2

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Fri Feb 10, 2017 9:03 am

We always listen en read what you have to share with us Guilty/Forgiven.
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Fri Feb 10, 2017 9:55 am

I've never been there but you have my prayers. Sounds like your daughter will dump this guy and move on.
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Xid

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Fri Feb 10, 2017 10:21 am

It's hard watching our kids make terrible decisions time after time.  Keep them in prayer.
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kerrick

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Fri Feb 10, 2017 11:52 am

Oh my gosh. I cannot believe this... I am so thankful that your daughter and grandchild are [physically] ok though. I wish this extreme of a situation hadn't been necessary for her to see the light... but I am thankful that it'd seem she now does. I hope she will not give him ANY more chances EVER again - even if he is the father of her child.
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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:17 pm

Thanks everyone.

And Kerrick, you addressed another concern we have.
Though my daughter said she's done with him, she actually said that before when they separated last year. He's the kind of abusive mental case that does unimaginable psychotic actions, then later is all sweet and apologetic, blaming the conditions he has - "it's not my fault" kind of garbage. And yes, he may pull that crap with her again after sitting in a cell for a long time, and realizing he has a child with her - he may be all "sorry" and do the old song and dance as before. I would like to think she's wise enough and strong enough to move on, but she's boggled our minds before in the past.

Anyways, just talking about all this has made me feel a little better. Like I said though, there just HAS to be something positive on the horizon, cuz at a time when I'm trying so hard to strengthen my relationship with the Lord, all these things combined is making it hard to not be bitter, cynical, and deflated all the time.
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Fundy

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:26 pm

Really sorry to hear all this G/F.  As the others said it's difficult to know what to say.  The stuff some folks have to go through sometimes is horrible.  There's a friend of mine who's been through some horrendous stuff over the years and it leaves us all asking questions of why.

I'll be praying for you all.

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1 - Believe In Jesus.
2 - Love one another.
3 - Let God be the judge.

That is all I need to say.
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Fri Feb 10, 2017 2:29 pm

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:
Thanks everyone.

And Kerrick, you addressed another concern we have.
Though my daughter said she's done with him, she actually said that before when they separated last year. He's the kind of abusive mental case that does unimaginable psychotic actions, then later is all sweet and apologetic, blaming the conditions he has - "it's not my fault" kind of garbage. And yes, he may pull that crap with her again after sitting in a cell for a long time, and realizing he has a child with her - he may be all "sorry" and do the old song and dance as before. I would like to think she's wise enough and strong enough to move on, but she's boggled our minds before in the past.

Anyways, just talking about all this has made me feel a little better. Like I said though, there just HAS to be something positive on the horizon, cuz at a time when I'm trying so hard to strengthen my relationship with the Lord, all these things combined is making it hard to not be bitter, cynical, and deflated all the time.
See the bolded section. Of course there is - your daughter is going to have a baby, making you a pawpaw (or whatever name you choose...)!
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Sat Feb 11, 2017 12:39 pm

So very sad to hear this...and yet it seems so familiar (my daughter's "baby Daddy" showed up at our house with illegally obtained loaded guns in his car...prompting my daughter to call the police).

I'll be praying for your situation (I know it is overwhelming).  Hopefully his incarceration will force him to distance himself from your daughter and the rest of your family.  If you don't own one, it might be a good idea to invest in a shot-gun or hand gun.

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Samson

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Sat Feb 11, 2017 5:56 pm

Not sure about the shotgun, though, with Jim's condition, especially if the recoil is huge. But again, I don't know 'cause I'm not there.
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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Mon Feb 13, 2017 12:59 pm

Yeh, my shotgun days have passed. But I have been looking at some different handguns. My wife's not crazy about having a gun in the house, but I'm not crazy about the psychos my kids date.

I know Staybrite is the one who's had more experience with this kind of craziness, so I totally understand where you're coming from buddy.

There is a certain amount of resentment for her not listening to us and seeing what's right in front of her face..... but right now all I can do is keep loving her and finish repairing the holes in her walls.

After time served, he better keep his distance from her and the rest of us, otherwise all those years of pent up anger and bitterness from life's circumstances will come raining down upon this kid. 

I guess we'll just have to see how this ridiculous life pans out. Should be interesting.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Mon Feb 13, 2017 3:45 pm

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:
There is a certain amount of resentment for her not listening to us and seeing what's right in front of her face..... but right now all I can do is keep loving her and finish repairing the holes in her walls.

I completely agree, been so frustrated with my own as well.  Especially when they are much smarter than the horrifically bad decisions they make.
Praying God will keep her and the rest of you safe.

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kerrick

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Mon Feb 13, 2017 4:36 pm

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:
Yeh, my shotgun days have passed. But I have been looking at some different handguns. My wife's not crazy about having a gun in the house, but I'm not crazy about the psychos my kids date.

If you want help picking out a handgun...  I'm somewhat familiar with what's out there and would love to be of service in making recommendations!
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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Wed Feb 15, 2017 12:56 pm

Thanks guys. Not sure what my role is in all of this. I just keep on keepin' on.

I wouldn't even be able to afford a gun for a few more months, so we'll see how that pans out as well.
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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Thu Mar 30, 2017 4:01 pm

I am thankful to God that despite all my health issues, I still have some talents and can be a blessing to others.
These are the 3 spots I repaired for my daughter... the spots her psycho ex created on HER walls in HER house that SHE bought.
He not only treated her like crap, he took out his anger problem on HER house rather than the things HE owns.  



.
.


Hardest part was trying to create the existing texture of her walls. Used a sponge and it came out pretty good.
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Xid

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Thu Mar 30, 2017 4:50 pm

Excellent job!
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Fri Mar 31, 2017 8:38 am

Looks great!
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Fri Mar 31, 2017 11:27 am

Great job, you are much better at that then I am.  Seems like I never get it sanded out well enough, and you can always tell the texture is "off".

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Through The Dark Radio

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Fri Mar 31, 2017 11:54 am

I like how you did your imitation of Vanna White with the pictures Very Happy
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Guilty/Forgiven

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:03 pm

Thanks all.
Quote :

Great job, you are much better at that then I am.  Seems like I never get it sanded out well enough, and you can always tell the texture is "off".


Getting the wall pattern right is really hard. You will never get it just right. But if you never tell anyone, no one could ever tell where the repairs are Very Happy

Quote :
I like how you did your imitation of Vanna White with the pictures

LOL ! Actually I was taking size pix for evidence. She didn't wanna deal with it, but I decided to take all those pix as evidence in case it needs to be presented when he goes to trial. However, he took a plea and will be out this week.

He has to follow these rules while on probation for the next 3 years:
He has to live a couple hours away from her.
He cannot go near her for 3 years.
He has to attend anger and relationship courses of some sort.
He has to do drug testing with them every so often.
He has to check in with them 3 times a week. 

If he violates any of these, he will go to prison for a long time. I'm pleased with this, but still not comfortable. I don't trust him. I personally hope he fails a drug test or something so he gets put away for a long time.
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Samson

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Sat Apr 01, 2017 10:23 pm

I would also see if they could put you, your wife, and daughter on a call list if it becomes aware that he has fled or done anything of the sort, so they can give you a heads up.
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ishmael81

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:30 am

Will he have to wear a bracelet?
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kerrick

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Mon Apr 03, 2017 10:54 am

Wow, I am so glad that his consequences are being taken seriously. This is very good news.
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Staybrite

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PostSubject: Re: No one to talk to   Mon Apr 03, 2017 2:26 pm

Guilty/Forgiven wrote:
Thanks all.
Quote :

Great job, you are much better at that then I am.  Seems like I never get it sanded out well enough, and you can always tell the texture is "off".


Getting the wall pattern right is really hard. You will never get it just right. But if you never tell anyone, no one could ever tell where the repairs are Very Happy 

Oh, a 5 year old could spot the repairs of the first few walls I have done.  lol!

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