Dumb Jokes

ishmael81 wrote:

Recently I heard the former mayor of Reading, Pennsylvania, 
recount some funny stories about his time in office. One happened while he was running for reelection; he was in a bar and paid for a 
woman’s drink. She thanked him but wondered why a stranger had 
bought her a beer.
“I’m running for mayor,” he told her, “and I want your vote.”
“You got it,” she said, grabbing her glass. “Anyone’s better than the jerk who’s in there now.”

 .....................

Hickory dickory dock
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one
And two got away with minor injuries

That reminds me of the time when two peanuts were walking down a dark alley late one night.  One of them was a salted.

Over the river and through the woods
I'll never drive drunk again

Xid wrote:

Over the river and through the woods
I'll never drive drunk again

Xid wrote:

Over the river and through the woods
I'll never drive drunk again

Quote :

After an impromptu song, our pastor asked the church pianist, “What key did I sing that in?”
The pianist replied, “Most of them.”

A capella (often brethren) services…

It’s said that time flies like an arrow, but did you know that fruit flies like a banana?

Actually, yes. The cook at my old school taught me that one.

My pastor's daughter (who is 8 - the same age as my boy) told me this joke when he, our kids and I hung out.

-Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
-Duane.
-Duane who?
-Duane the bathtub or it'll overflow.

What did the big bucket say to the little bucket?

You look a little pail.

To keep fit when my gran was 67 she began walking a mile a day.  Now she's 84 and we haven't a clue where she is.

At first I thought that was in the weight loss thread

(These are putting a smile on my face)

During a time in the Old West, a dog, with a bandage on his foot storms into a saloon with such force that he gets everybody's attention.  He slowly looks around the room and says:

"I'm lookin' fer the man who shot my paw."